Showing Versus Telling

Any author can tell you a workshop discussing the merits of showing vs. telling is usually on the agenda of every major conference in the romance world. It's a big deal for getting across deep POV. You want the reader to feel the emotions in the same way as the hero/heroine. I've struggled for years to add emotion to my work, to make the reader tear up the same way the heroine is doing. I love it when a reviewer says she needed a whole box of tissues to get to the end. That means I've done my job. Here's an example of what I mean, courtesy of Colorado State University: http://writing.colostate.edu/guides/teaching/rst/pop5c.cfm

Telling: He was an attractive man. 
Showing: He had Paul Newman's eyes, Robert Redford's smile, Sylvester Stallone's body, and Bill Gates's money.

I'm working with a new editor now, and she's taken the show vs. tell to a whole new extreme. Rather than go through my whole manuscript, righting my wrongs and have me click on the comment box that I accept her changes, she only commented on the first part of the book. Then, she sent me a lengthy email pointing out what I needed to fix throughout the remainder of the story. Her comments showed me the mistake I kept making, her email showed me how to fix it, and then I was on my own. Since I learn better by doing than by simply clicking "accept"on a comment box, I have been able to go through the remainder of the manuscript and make the changes myself. Showing vs. telling.

In going through the manuscript and focusing on those elements the editor wanted changed, I noticed I've developed a new crutch word.

I have a list of words already that I check, so I've now added another to the list. And the movements between my characters was somewhat stilted, so I've fixed it.

I'm going to read through the manuscript one final time today, to see if I still have any glaring errors to take care of. If I can get through a couple pages without typing anything, I'll consider it clean enough to send back. Then, I'll see what the editor comments on next. A work is never done until it's published, and even then, most of us would love the chance to go back and fix the errors we've made in telling our tales.

Every book I write makes me a better author. Every editor I work with gives me a different perspective on my writing. I hope I never stop learning. Thank you, new editor, for all your hard work. I can see where your suggested changes have made this a much stronger story. Stay tuned. My Christmas novella, Love's In The Cards, should be released in November or December. I think you'll like Penny Lane and Abbey Road Beedle, and Penny's third-grade crush, Del Madison.

Back To The Drawing Board

Like most authors, I'm constantly searching for new ways to approach my craft. I take online and in person workshops, read articles on how to show vs. tell, enter contests for published authors showcasing their new work. Since I have been published for four years, some folks think I don't need to do this anymore since I must know it all by now.

If only it were that simple.

I had an idea for a contemporary two years ago, which was to be part of a trilogy. I wrote the manuscript, found an agent to peddle it for me, had it sent out all over the place, and got no bites. I fired the agent, took a look at the editing notes the agent only gave me after the first round of rejections, and revised the manuscript. I then sent if off myself to another publishing house with whom I've had some dealings in the past. Their acquisitions person got back to me saying she'd love to work with me, liked my work, but wanted me to change the beginning, middle and end. I told her I'd get back to her, and promptly filed the manuscript away for a rainy day.

It's not raining, but we did have a freakish snow storm here in Ohio over the weekend, so I thought it was a perfect time to pull it out and take another look at it. After reading the first twenty pages, I realized I hadn't run the document through my checklist, since some of my taboo words showed up with an uneasy frequency. Maybe the acquisitions editor wasn't so far off the mark after all.

I still think I'll send it elsewhere when I deem it ready to go again. And I'm not writing books two and three in this trilogy until the first one finds a home.