Punctuation and Grammar

I wore my new t-shirt that has emblazoned on its front the words "Write On" when I visited the physical therapist the other day. I already knew his daughter had majored in creative writing and editing, so I thought he'd appreciate my choice.

He one-upped me, however, by saying his daughter had a shirt that said "Punctuation matters. It's the difference between Let's eat, kids, normal mealtime conversation, and the more cannibalistic Let's eat kids.

As an unapologetic comma queen, punctuation and grammar are a constant thorn in my side. So I thought today I'd share a few more of these examples that drive home the need for a well-placed comma with you.

Your dinner vs. you're dinner: One leaves you nourished, the other leaves you dead. Correct grammar saves lives. 

I like cooking my family and pets. Use commas. Don't be a psycho. 

Bite me, asshole–grammatically correct and scathing. 

Bite me asshole–kinky pirate (For all my pirate-writing friends)

Other examples of the necessity of using proper punctuation and grammar abound. Here are a few that made me smile: 

Capitalization is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

If you don't think punctuation is important, try forgetting the semicolon when you tell someone, "I'm sorry: I love you." 

And my favorite: The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense. 

What about you? What's your favorite example of a sentence in need of some punctuation?