We're All In This Together

I don't know about you, but I've been hearing from my family and friends on a regular basis these days. If it's done nothing else good, at least the Corona Virus has brought my family closer. We have weekly phone call check-ins now, to make certain everyone is still safe and healthy. And my friends, who are the family I've chosen, not the one I was born into, all check in several times a week, so we can stay abreast of each other and our emotions as we roll along through this crisis.

This past week, I heard from my 85-year-old uncle in Ohio. The last time we talked was months ago. 

So, silver lining to this madness. I'll take it. 

In times such as we're currently living through, it's family and friends that can get you to the other side. I feel a circling of the wagons taking place in America. Stay safe and wear your mask. 

Creating Your Tribe

Every writer working today has heard you need a tribe to get a book from concept to reality. A tribe is a support system in this lonely world of fiction writing. You need critique partners to let you know when you've run your book's story line off into a ditch. You need a coach, mentor, agent, whatever your want to call the person or persons you lean on for advice. Throw in editors, web designers, proofreaders, reviewers who write glowing reviews of your books, publishers, all the people who operate blogs where you can introduce your book to a new audience, and, of course, your family.

Never has this concept of tribalism come into play than this past week. My website is one of the most consistent of the elements of my social media, and I keep track of the daily hits. The consistency tapered off around Valentine's Day, and had trickled to one or two visitors a day instead of the usual 100 or so. I watched it for a couple days, but didn't think to check the link. One of my favorite fellow authors with whom I share the History Imagined blog brought it to my attention. What to do? Since I know next to nothing about how to fashion a website, I emailed my tribe member who takes care of that. It only took her a few minutes on the phone with the company who hosts my site to determine they had tried to send an authentication notice to me at my Ohio email address and when I didn't respond, they shut the site down. It has since been fixed and updated. Problem solved, but not without help.

On a more personal note, I now have my grown nephew living with me. Since I've never married, it's been nice to be able to share my home with my siblings and/or their children over the years. He's working at a grocery chain and has to be there by 6 am. Normally, I never hear him, but last night was different. I got sick at about 3 am, and was awake when he left the house. I texted him to please pick up some Pepto for me before he came home. Not only did he bring the medicine, he brought hot soup and yogurt for my delicate stomach. Then, he walked my dog!

Mary

So this week has taught me that, while some parts of my tribe need to be shored up and expanded, the core group is to be trusted. Not only with my writing process but also with my health. I'm eternally grateful to each of you.

Turkey Day

My family celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday, a whole two weeks ahead of the actual holiday. Because we're scattered from coast to coast, we've made it our mission to celebrate our favorite holiday of the year whenever we can manage to get three or more of us in the same place at the same time. This has become increasingly important since the deaths of our parents and the fact the five of us kids aren't getting any younger. My brother and his wife flew in from California for a few days, so my sister and her husband came over from their home in North Carolina, as did my niece, her husband and their two children. It was a packed house. I borrowed chairs from the neighbors and bought paper plates. We spent the day in the kitchen making our favorite dishes and sharing stories about growing up together in Ohio.

After all, it's not so much about the day as it is the people you share it with. Happy early Thanksgiving, everyone!

Character Study

As authors, we're given a lot of advice on how to write compelling characters, even to the point where we should take hours, days and even weeks before we begin writing to determine their characteristics, traits, birth order, number of siblings, etc. All these are things that help shape that character's personality.

I prefer to draw on my family for inspiration.

For instance, my brother, John, or Buzz, as we call him, is the only boy in a family of five children. When people hear that, they ask if he was a spoiled child, with all these girls taking care of him. Not only is he the only boy, he and my sister are twins and are the babies of the family. I can hear the 'awws' even now.

To set the record straight–we did not coddle our brother, even though he had to have major surgery when he was only six months old. He was all boy, playing sports throughout school, riding his bike all over Ohio, spending time with his guy friends rather than playing dolls with his sisters. We each had our own interests when we were growing up. Some of us learned homebuilding from our father, others spent time in the garden, growing produce which helped feed our large family. What Buzz did learn from growing up with girls is that girls are every bit as strong as boys and we can be as intelligent as boys. As a result, my brother is one of the most sensitive and caring men I've ever met. If that's the result of being raised in a family of girls, all men should be so lucky.

Photo courtesy of Barb Daisher

This was proven again during our latest get-together. We manage to get all of us in one place only once every three or four years, and it happened last week. One of my sisters, my brother, and I are considering buying a condo together, and spent a day with a realtor, also a female, examining several places. This realtor directed all her remarks to my brother, as though my sister and I were not there. As we were leaving, after an unsuccessful afternoon, this unenlightened realtor asked my brother if he would let her know when we were going to list my house. I was standing right there, alongside her, and she was aware I was the one with the house to sell, yet her remarks were directed to my brother.

Buzz grinned broadly, and said, "It's entirely up to Becky, if and when she will sell her house, and who she'll list it with." He nodded in my direction and I took it from there. Just as a strong, intelligent woman would.

So, when I'm writing a strong male character, who has a tender side and is able to relate to women, I don't need to come up with a long list of character attributes. I simply draw on my brother's personality. That's all I need to know.